Dr. James Fletcher, December 21, 2023
2023 has been a very challenging one for many of us. Personally, it has been my most challenging ever. I have had to deal with the gut-wrenching loss of a mother who always made me the center of her world, and the sudden, mind-numbing loss of a mother-in-law who 20 years ago welcomed me into her world with loving arms. So many have had to deal with the death of a loved one this year. It felt like every month we were being greeted with the sad news of the passing of another friend.
In the middle of all this, I celebrated a milestone birthday, surrounded by the close friends and family who have shared this wonderful journey of life with me. It was an awesome event, and it caused me to reflect on how precious, complex and beautiful this journey of life is.
It really is up to each one of us how we choose to react to the circumstances that impact us. Sometimes, it is difficult to separate ourselves and take a step back from our situation to realize that “this too shall pass”. But we must. I know that in the immediate aftermath of my mother’s passing, it was almost impossible for me to think that the crushing feelings of grief would ever go away. I did not believe my friends who told me that “it would get better with time”. But it did, and they were right. Grief was slowly replaced by warm, loving and happy memories.
So, as we celebrate Christmas, Hanukkah, Kwanzaa, or just the break that this holiday season provides, let us take some time to reflect on the beauty, complexity and fragility of life and friendships, and appreciate the fact that we have already been bestowed with the most valuable gift – the gift of life. Let us use that gift to make a positive impact on the household and the community in which we live. This life, just like the situation you may be experiencing right now, is transient. It too shall pass. What matters is how you use the precious, relatively little time you have been gifted.
That is the advice, if I could, I would have given to that 18-year-old version of myself, sitting in that classroom in Ottawa, Canada. Even without the benefit of this wisdom, I think I did okay, but it would have helped me to put a few things I experienced in the period between then and now into better perspective.
I wish everyone a happy, loving, peaceful and enjoyable Christmas.